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Inner Beauty

Designer: celestegrover
Tags: DSD07
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Inner beauty  me p001 medium Description
Just some feelings I've been having for a while...really needed to express them - sorry it's so personal, but hey - that's what scrapbooking is for, right? Journaling Reads: When I think about my life this past year, my heart is full of emotion and complete surrender. I have been up, I have been down, and I have just been. Iâ??ve watched myself overcome some obstacles, and Iâ??ve watched myself wallow in self-pity and grief. I think most importantly, I have found a self that I never knew was there. I have found a self that is angry, bitter and hurtful. Those were times I am not proud of. I have worked through some pretty tough issues that have been hidden beneath the surface for years. After being diagnosed with post-partum depression, I battled the decision to take medication, to stay on medication and on some days, whether or not to stay alive on this earth. Suicide was a daily thought for me. After agreeing to take medication, I quickly pursued the idea of getting a therapist. Michelle Dye was one of my only saving graces during this time. She brought up some very rough subjects and forced me to see me for who I am and who I can be. She stirred up emotions that I didnâ??t even know existed in myself. She took me through the darkest of all places and in it all, I certainly found a beautiful light. That beautiful light I saw was in radiating from me. After hours in a room a Michelle, I came to see the other side of me. A side that is beautiful, kind, loving, giving, creative, fun, happy and thoughtful. I learned so much about who I really am. About the good things that I offer this world. About the happiness I feel when I allow myself to break free and just be who I am. About the way I can feel certain emotions and allow myself to really feel them, and not to ignore them or to think that I am undeserving. In turn for all the hurt that I have felt this year, I have improved relationships that I thought were beyond saving. I have come to learn that I am allowed to see myself as a beautiful person completely undefined by how I look, what I wear, or who I associate myself with. I am grateful for a year of struggle. I am grateful for the pain I felt. I am also very grateful for my faith and trust in the Lord and his Son Jesus Christ. It is the pure love of Christ that I found deep in myself. His true love for me as one of his own carried me through many a dark hour. I am grateful for a loving family and especially a loving mother who her put her own hurt and pain on the side to make sure that I knew of her love for me. I am so grateful for the light of my children. Their sweet sprits carried me through the darkest of days. Their radiant smiles reassured me on a daily basis that I was needed in their lives that the Lord had bigger and better things planned for other then sadness. This year, I can truly say that I have found myself. The self that I am, the self that I want to be, and the self that others need me to be. When I look in the mirror on a daily basis, I no longer see just a shell of person. I see beauty, I see light, I see happiness, and I see hope. Had it not been such a year for me, I doubt that I would ever learn that inner beauty is the most stunning of all.

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Lynn Grieveson, at 02:13PM on Thursday November 29, 2007
This is so powerful. Thanks so much for sharing, I think it is amazing. And you are right - that is what scrapbooking is about! Glad to hear that you have achieved so much through your tough year.
Jesse77, at 03:22AM on Friday November 30, 2007
I agree, this is POWERFUL, The last year has definitely been a roller coaster for me as well. I find scrapbooking therapeutic, and I think this is a wonderful way to reflect on a tough year. It is important to scrapbook these times in our life that my be difficult not just the"happy" ones. This is fantastic! thanks for sharing :)
emilyrice, at 11:28AM on Friday November 30, 2007
I could relate with everything you've said, so much that I wonder if we could be struggling with the same battles. Well put, and you sound strong! This gives me courage to journal more realistically. Great job, I'm impressed!
celestegrover, at 06:00PM on Friday November 30, 2007
Emilyrice - Seriously--this was so theraputic for me to should really write it out...even if you don't post it, it feels SOOO good!
BeachScraper, at 02:13AM on Monday December 03, 2007
Very nice...I look at the picture of you and see truly a happy person...I think we all have struggled at some point in life, some harder than does make you a stronger person. Very inspiring. I have always scraped the bad and good, it makes you remember what made you who you are.
Bryanmn, at 06:53PM on Tuesday January 15, 2008
Thank you for sharing your personal struggle and growth. I stopped scrapbooking for a while because everything in the scrapbooks stores were about happy, lucky things happening to people and life isn't always like that. Like you, I have come to embrace the difficult and share it in my albums. Continue to enjoy your Journey

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